The Black Butterfly

Inspiration from Black Dahlia by Porcupine Tree.
A nightmare just before dawn
There’s no warmth that I can hold
In the winter, time slows down
The second’s hand shivering from the cold.
I can see the dark of the moon
Or is it my reflection, the blinds unfold
Is it morning already, my dear crows
My sun must’ve gone cold.
The water cuts me like the rain
The heart you drew on my hand
Finally washes away after many cold baths
But the blood on my chest is here to stay.
I stand outside your room
Thought we could talk over a cup of coffee
A black butterfly taped to the door
“She’s all grown up” it reminds me.
It’s funny how I still call it the living room
Sings of struggle, the result of a fight
Without make up, your face was blue
Without oxygen, my cigarette won’t light.
A scenery in the calendar I can never visit
I haven’t touched it since that day
Your birthday marker is fading away
But the splashes of blood, here to stay.
Your pending homework and patterned bruises, I couldn’t solve them
No matter how hard I try
You see, mama never went to school
Your father was smarter than I.
Your cryptic poem in my hand
I just couldn’t interpret or decipher
Your father told me, “Stick to shopping lists
I will take care of her.”
After that, my memory is a mess
Your muddy footprints on the floor
I can wash them away
But the two streams of blood, are here to stay
I can’t tell which one is yours.
The men in white, they gave me a new home
Your name was all I uttered, day after day
They let me play the music you liked
They told me your father took you away.
I stand outside your room
Thought we could talk over a cup of tea
A black butterfly fallen on the floor
“Can you pick me up?” it asks me.


Inspiration from Shesmovedon by Porcupine Tree and Pain by Blackfield.
Her light leaking out of a keyhole
Do I ignore or do I investigate?
I’ll be an unwelcome voyeur
But I feel the pull of a familiar force.
I try to follow her twisted arabesque
There’s no pattern, no retrace
Turning heads, her own gravity
Suddenly, she’s the center of the universe.
Her sound leaking out of a shell
I put up an ever eager ear
Conversations we never had
Among songs that I can’t decipher.
Her fascinations atop the waves
Crash down on delicate designs that we drew
Hidden among the lines on the sand
Like the winter sunset, she slithers away too soon.
Her scent reeking out of discarded books
Insignificant insect, I’m trapped in the pages
Like all the other moths to your flame
I’m no different from them, am I?
There is something underneath the words
A sign, a symbol or a clue
The plot thickens as I loosen my grip
The pages torn, our story obscured from my view.
Her soul leaking out of a mental picture
It’s all I have of her and it’s fading
Except the eyes, they won’t leave
Like windows they open as I close my own.
I follow the temporary trail of your shed skin
All the old crazes, old dreams and old friends
You’re a changing chameleon, but I’ll still recognize
I’m a withered wallflower but you won’t realize.
She walks a clear path of snow
Leaving glowing footsteps that
Losers like I can follow
I try to connect the dots while I wait
She’s everywhere but not here in my fate
And I’ve got nowhere else to go.
I’m watched you leave through the door
She won’t remember you
I’m standing on the sea shore
She just isn’t there
I’m melting away like a candle in the rain
She doesn’t care
I’m stuck in a jar and I’m going insane
She is long gone
I’m captured in a stranger’s eyes forever
Alas, she’s moved on.